The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to have Get More Information sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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